Email me (don't call, obv.) if any of the following apply:
(1) You want to collaborate/guest post on something (with ideas in mind please)
(2) If you think your band doesn't suck and I should listen to them/add them to my playlist.
(3) If you have any suggestions/complaints/other things normal people wouldn't care about
(4) You want/need a friend
(5) You're bored
(6) You think I'd whistle at you
(7) If you have good jokes
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